Soo I was on facebook and a friend of mine posted this long post about good men..women are evil; etc. I’m summarizing-I read it while in transit. I felt compelled to share my truth about Cats and Dogs.
What is a good man ? When women say that’s what they want it’s a general broad statement. My best friend Brina, my sister and my mom all have completely different views and tastes in men. So what is good to me may not work for them and vice versa. I have a lot of male friends that seriously feel they are “good men”, but I can agree to an extent. Most of them simply aren’t good enough for me. I mean that in the most loving way I can think of lol. Seriously, You buy her flowers, gave her a ring for Valentine’s Day and you cooked her dinner…. seriously where’s your tampax ? Why do you want a cookie for what the general population considers “normal” for the woman to do ? So if it’s expected of me why is it a parade you seek when you do it ? If you want to impress me keep up my car… seriously a perfect man to me can tune up my engine, change my oil and if my car sounds a little off you stop off at the mechanic… that’s perfection to me – A girl can dream right ?
I was never the girl who sat in my room dreaming of Mr. Right and the perfect wedding. Nope not I. I was never the girl who jumped through hoops for a dude. Nope not I. I never wanted a husband or kids. Nope not I. I was always the big sister that solely wanted my siblings to be ok. I was always the chic that didn’t want to get too close to people because I was sure I would move soon. I was always the girl who was fascinated by people. I people watch the human mind fascinates me. I get my rocks off watching Criminal Minds and relating to the unsub. Seriously, that’s who I am.
I never grew up watching a bad relationship. I saw my mom and dad and they seemed ok to me. All I know is my dad treated me great and was fun. My dad had what I considered unconditional love for my mother. It wasn’t until I got older that I understood some of the things I saw him go through as a child. I’ve been in foster homes, relatives homes; etc. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a “couple” I truly wanted to be like. I’ve seen abuse. I’ve seen lots and the only constant theme I saw was strong women. Thats what I strived to be and ultimately what I became. I pride myself on that.
Sometimes, being a strong woman causes us to make the men in our life feel useless so they think stepping back and letting us do everything is what we want then we get frustrated and ask them why didn’t u step up and be a man and blah blah blah… maybe because we were already being a man ? Damned if u do.. damned if u don’t right ? No matter what you do most women will complain-I think it’s in our DNA. I admit I have had a day or 2 in my life that I complained about he isn’t this and he isn’t that… I had to stop and laugh because everything I was complaining about was nonsense. I think I’m blessed for being able to recognize that.
Ultimately.. we all need to feel appreciated. Whether it’s at work, with our friends and definitely our significant other. If I cook of course I want you to tell me it tastes good. As a wife and mother am I not supposed to cook if no one else has ? Do I really deserve mother of the year for making that dry ass pot roast ? Am I the best wife ever because I can slam some spaghetti together for you in 10 minutes ? If so then we seriously got it twisted lol.
Why do women generalize ? How can you say all men are dogs.. if u only dated 3 of them ? How can you say all men cheat if only 1 man cheated on you ? What if you applied for a job and were told you didn’t get the job because all black people are lazy ? or all spanish people can’t read or write english ? or all blondes sleep their way to the top ? You would sue right ? But, maybe they are justified based on their past dealings right ?? What’s the difference ?
Men….You can be better than my last man, better than your father or better than I expected. Then again if your not the man God has for me it simply will not work.
Ladies.. stop making men your life. God says you shall not have any other God before me.. if you are idolizing, losing sleep over, and threatening to take your life and/or others for this man.. he is your God and again I tell you-It won’t work. If you spent the time, energy and $$ you spend on doing for him and instead do for you then if he leaves your life may still have meaning. Or you would have known after the 2nd date that he isn’t the one……
Who died and made me boss you ask ? I don’t know maybe it’s being able to maintain relationships with men that had none of the drama most of the rest of y’all go through … and no they didn’t all run my bath water or buy me roses on Valentine’s Day.. but most did completely get me, appreciate and respect my intellect (imma geek), one took awesome care of my son when I was too sick to get out of bed, stop @ Roy Roger’s on a saturday morning and get me a biscuit with sausage gravy when I least expect it and I can go on for days… See these things may mean nothing to you… but they kinda mean the world to me 😉
Reposted from an older blog dated March 2, 2010
Photo Credit: Wikipedia